Shedding My Skin

I have been terribly itchy all day today. All over. No idea why... No rash, no hives, just itchy from the crown of my head to the soles of my feet and everywhere in between. Talking on Facebook with other Hashimoto's sufferers, apparently this is not uncommon. Maybe I'm reacting to something. But as I soak in a baking soda bath in a hopeless attempt to calm the itching enough to sleep (it's after 1 am!) I was thinking that maybe this is how a lizard feels when it is trying to rub and scratch off it's old skin, so that shiny new skin can emerge. And that reminded me (free association here!) of something I read recently about "feeling uncomfortable in your skin", how that can be a symptom of your brain rewiring itself. So maybe the mental/emotional "itching" I've been dealing with lately, the cognitive dissonance of trying to learn to see myself, my childhood, and my parents as neither all good or all bad... But rather as a mix of both... Maybe this struggle is a good thing. It's me mentally rubbing and scratching off that itching old skin that no longer fits who I am. And hopefully after this struggle I will emerge as a more kind, loving, grace-filled, tolerant person... Who is still gutsy enough to stand up to lies and oppression, and speak the truth in love. I want to be a person who can change people's minds and hearts, and open their eyes, and shine the light of God's grace (unmerited favor and kindness) into people's lives. God's grace freed me from the bondage of legalism, and I'd like to help others break free as well. But for now I'm still itchy so I'd better take some sleep meds and hit the hay. Good-night, world.